Thursday, April 10, 2008

aiya nevermind alr lah. since i am bao yuaning i might as well dont be a coward. and hide in my shell. okay firstly i am very upset lah. i know i got no rights to say this. but then do you ever think of how. 突然间觉得用华语比较容易表达心情。

我觉得我目前最需要的是个知心朋友。一个我能倒心事的朋友。突然间心很反。
快要爆炸了。

i really dont know what to do anymore. can i just give up? i need to get my mind away from these things. i admit i was tai guo fen today. but i was pissed. and the point is that! no one is actually on my side. which means the fault is me. sorry lah. i dont know what to do. dont know what to say. just let things go along lor. no choice. i need a friend.

i need a friend. like pri sch days. i want priscilla. i want our mei hao hui yi in pcps. but then saying all these no point la. its a thing of the past! priscilla i miss you. over here i have no best friend whom i can dao xin shi to.

maybe one or two. but then is it really useful? no. i want my old self back. the time where i could think innocently. like scout small that time la! D: now life is so complicated. i dont know why i am harbouring thoughts to pon stuff. happiness, is a paradox too.

life is very complicated. i really feel like giving up. D:
wanqing. i need you to make me laugh.
and zihui i want to keesiao with you all over again.
eileen i want to talk about ug stuff with you again.
gerbera do something dumb and lets laugh together.

smiling is not always easy. D:
deceiving yourself isnt easy either.
can you hear me.
no.

i have no one to rant to.
no one to talk to when i really want to.
no one to yi lai on.
i want classmates <3

happiness, is not about smiling.
laughing aids mood.
daoism causes depression.

i feel dao-ed.
when i see _ hanging out together i feel really neglected. have to force myself on. this is different from _. i have no one with me. must kao zi ji. though life is tough, must get on with it.

GET IT OVER MAN. STOP FRETTING.

HAHA LOSER.{10:09 PM}